Why everything is the way it is or The Melancholy of Tony Ortega

So, I have to write a blog for English. I really hate writing about me or just about everything that is not me. So in the end, I think I hate writing about everything. Its not that I hate everything or just dislike everything, its just I hate writing. Well, its not that I hate writing, I just hating writing about things that other people have already wrote about, that I somewhat agree with. Alright, so now to actually say something. Bad thing is, I'm writing about what I really don't like writing about, myself. Hit the jump for more.




I do not have a doctorate in anything, but I do know about having a very melancholic personality. Most people don't even know what that means. Here is the sum of it from my personal perspective:
- Analytical to the point of obsessive
- Views personal life microscopically
- Self-centered. "How does it relate to/affect me?"
-Withdrawn. Isolated.
+ Observant
+ Independent
+ Has different take on problems
+ Loves order, not chaos

I personally didn't know what it meant until I was diagnosed with depression. [Side note: The internet is cool. I would never reveal this upfront]  When I first learned how many people there were in the world, I always thought the chances of me being significant in the world was a great as the lottery. Not in a bad way, but in a realistic way. Personally, I think being people who are melancholic see everything more realistically than anyone else. For example, I have been accused of being too blunt and too dry. I tell people exactly what I think, I don't beat around the bush. Being over honest about stuff isn't all that great, but not the worst. The worst is being over-analytical. Everything is center stage. If I speak in class for 10 seconds, I will spend the next 10 minutes analyzing what everyone else thought about what I said. If I get into something new, lets say a game. I need to know everything about it. Everything. There is no excuse of being lost.  The last negative thing on the list is withdrawn. I personally don't enjoy speaking in large groups (large being >3 people). The more people, the more distant I become. Hell, before school started, I spent 6 months just going to work and home. Before that, For over a year after high school, I did the same thing. I could easily be considered a shut-in by some people. I just don't feel like I'm part of anything.

Alright, some people would be concerned if I didn't talk about positives. I'm very observant. I see what everyone else misses. Such as what's going on in the background in movies. I also easily read people without them knowing. Such as if they are nervous, bullshitting, ect. The amount independence is a great quality. Not relying on people is great. Now that Google exist, there is no reason not to be independent. I also have a different view on problems. Thats mainly due to being over analytical. Example: I was easily the best programmer in all my computer programing classes. I just had the mindset to easily see what was going on. It's so easily for me to think outside the box compared to some people. Last, order. I don't like it when stuff is all over the place. Good example is the store FYE. Their used section is all over the place sometimes. I HATE that.

Alright, so now you know what I'm likepersonality wise. For me, its all about being an outsider. Most people never meet people like me, so it's easy for me to be misunderstood. Now I leave you a Vocaloid song.
[Sidenote because I love sidenotes: That was more than I wanted to write. So much more.]
[Another sidenote: I edited this post at least 15 times before I thought it was alright to leave alone as proof of my obsessiveness. George Lucas would be proud]
[Final sidenote/ Pro Tip: If video is too small, click the center of the video.]